Week 8 - Cheat Meal

8 Weeks in the bag

I'm making progress. My body feels exhausted sometimes but due to a plateau in weight, I've upped the intensity of my cardio, which explains that. I've changed my training this week as well. For the last 7 weeks, I have been training Chest & Triceps together, Back & Biceps together etc. This is great for building endurance as each day involves a pushing group of exercises and a pulling group. Strength however has begun to plateau and so it's time to change the routine. I have decided to now train opposites (chest & back, biceps & triceps.) this will shock the body and lead to greater gains in muscle. Not only am I changing the order of muscle groups trained but the reps as well. My shoulder workout for example now involves 300 reps of shoulder press and 300 reps of lateral raises...killer. You want your body to adapt and if it can already do something then why would it? That's why you see these guys in the gym consistent as your morning poo but there results are also the proverbial. They'll finish their 10 reps barely breaking a sweat and they will never change shape. You have to push yourself for your body to change.

Cheat meal

I hadn't factored in any cheat meals on this plan but the day before measurement day, I was totally exhausted and ran out of gas half way through my gym session. I knew it was food related as my sleep had been fine as had everything else. So in a state of deprived clarity I made an executive decision to phone NKD pizza immediately as I walked from the gym. I arrived at home looking white according to Sorrell my wife who was equally shocked and pleased that I was finally feeding myself some 'excess' calories. When the deliveryman arrived I threw AED100 at him, mumbled "keep the change" and attacked the pizza like a deranged honey badger who’s protecting it's young. It was gone in less that 2 minutes, possibly within 1 and 20 minutes later I felt like a champ. Any remorse? None what so ever.

I did though work out my daily calories and even with the pizza, I was within my limit for the day having stuck to just meat and veg for tmy other meals. Happy honey badger.

The Pinocchio Effect

The cheat meal did get me thinking however. I know categorically (because I've cooked all of my food from scratch over the last 8 weeks) that I have not consumed any sugar or excess fats and so am not worried about the negative effects of this mini binge. How many of could say that?

Well lots of people do. Particularly the ones that are plateauing or worse, putting on weight. Lots of them would swear blind that their 'diet is not the problem'. Ok then what is? Training perhaps? I've heard every excuse in the book. I think I have the fat gene. I have an over active thyroid. I have hormonal imbalances. Bla, bla, bla. These people have been to nutritionists, dieticians, doctors, herbalists and more. And what are they actually looking for?

An excuse.

They'll often slip up weeks after promising their abstinence by talking about the brunch that they turned up to hung over from the night before or the pizzas that they shared that one of the kids dropped on the new sofa etc etc. Each time my heart sinks as I remember some of them actually crying in their consultation because they are so unhappy with the way that they look. After nutritional guidance, constant email and text message support, food diary analysis and more they are still managing to fail. The only thing I could do above what I already do, is move in with them which is ridiculous, so what's the answer. It's the same people that are always looking for that easy option, a new fad, a new pill, a new class.."have you heard of Zumba?". Shoot me now.

Don't get me wrong, some clients admit all of their dirty little secrets and that's fine, at least we have something to work with and overcome, it's the porky pies that really do the damage.

"A good teacher will lead the horse to water but an excellent teacher will make the horse thirsty first." Mario Cortes

I love this quote above and it's something that I remind myself daily but I've lead horses to water. Explained the benefits of the water. Explained the horrific consequences of not drinking the water. Sent them instructions on how to drink the water. Phoned them to make sure that they are drinking the water. Stuck their heads in the ruddy water but yet these horses continue to refuse to drink the effing stuff. Or they tell me how they read in a magazine that bla bla bla.

I know it sounds like a rant and it is to a certain extent. I know that some people are just happy to work out and aren't too fussed about results, that’s fine. But if you tell me that you are unhappy and want to lose fat then there has to be some responsibility that lies with you. Be honest with yourself and honest to others. I think some people like the idea of getting ripped but in the cold light of day and when you’re hungry and tired and you've just put the kids to bed, it's easy to lose sight of the goal and reach for the takeaway menu instead of sticking to the plan. It's those small things that you do (bite of pizza here and a glass of wine there) that really add up in the end.

Is it the magazines that are partly to blame by creating false expectations for readers? A picture of a ripped guy next to a workout routine that seems doable. You can't be blamed for thinking 'if I do this workout then I can look like him/her.' What they don't tell you is that the model next to the workout hasn't eaten sugar, fat or even sniffed a drop of booze in 6 months. He or she has been lifting heavy weights 5/6 times per week and probably conducted the same amount of cardio sessions too. They would have been strategically dosing up on a plethora of supplements too and 24 to 48 hours before the shoot they would have dehydrated themselves so much that their skin clings to their muscles that have been pumped up with some pre shoot bicep curls etc.

There's a famous picture of Dwayne Johnston or the 'Rock' eating a massive cheat meal. What they don't mention is that for 150 days he had been eating like I’ve been eating with NO cheat meals or anything fun. If this is the level of commitment needed for a body like his can any of us honestly say we could get to where he is? Would we want to?

Just remember though that just because you fell off last time doesn't mean you will this time, but if you are habitually starting a new routine every couple of months, making excuses, blaming others, promising yourself that this time is different and it ends up the same, well then it's time to change something bigger. Give up booze for 3 months, start hanging around with people that are fit and get up early on a Friday for a bike ride and stay away from the saboteurs that drag you down to the pub. Sometimes changing one thing is significant enough to have an amazingly positive knock on effect on everything else. Is it time that you did something big?

Take charge of your own life. You're a big boy/girl now, stand on your own two feet and do it yourself because nobody can do it for you.

See you next week for measurements!